Touch does not exist in SL, so this RL post from a scholar sex worker is interesting insight of the construction of touch.

physical touch in personal settings

physical touch in personal settings

It's odd, but since I've been back from Poland I've been perhaps overly aware of personal space. Like a feral cat, I become curious about human contact but easily spooked- a lack of sexual contact or context has left me unsure how to handle cuddling with my lovers.

Work is easier. First, I'm usually the Domme, so I get to decide how much contact and it's on my terms. There's an end point, so if I set an expectation high I don't have to do it again, I can just not session with that person anymore. I'm also not going to hurt someone's feelings, the way I might if I shrink away from a lover.

It's odd, being in this sexual world when I'm not really that sexual privately. It's not because of the work I do, I don't think- I get a different sort of rush out of it, the rush of power I suppose, though I have been surprised at how turned on I get in scene. I have recognized through my work that kink is very important for turning me on- erotic massage doesn't do it for me, but if I get to slap your face, my clit responds for sure.

No, I think that as I don't often cum with a partner, sex can be disappointing, because either I'm working for the other person's orgasm, or I'm just wishing I could cum more easily. Working for the other person's orgasm is fun, sure, but I have to be in the right space to put the energy into it... if I've had 3 clients that week, I might be a bit used up in that department. Also, the less sex I have, the less I desire, so it goes into a spiral. MENTALLY I desire the closeness, the intimacy, the orgasms- but I have so much experience with people complaining their wrists hurt, or not being able to maintain a sensation, or just not quite getting there, that I've given up. Things that are different make it easier- sex outdoors, sex in public, sex with strangers, trying something new I haven't incorporated into my play already- those things make me cum hard. But they make me cum hard because they're rare.

Physical touch, then, becomes almost sexual for me, because it's not something I tend to do just for the sake of it. I mean, I'm a hugger, that's ok for me- but other than that, I have to remind myself to hold hands, or pet hair, or do whatever. And as it's not so much a way to show me affection (I like service more, or doing something for me because I ask it) it can feel more like a chore than sweet.

Just some musings on the subject after discussing it with my girlfriend yesterday..

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